Cartoon Boy sells out.... sort of

So, now that I've dished the news about the twins, let me move on to the second life-changing event: I got a new job. After toiling for almost two years in retail hell, I had an interview in late May with Big Mortgage Firm (hereafter referred to as BMF). Now, anyone who knows me no doubt read the above and said to themselves "You? In the Mortgage industry? But you suck at math!" Fortunately, I'm in customer service and have little to do with the actual facts and figures of it all.

I mean, I never wanted to do this for a living, but I'll tell you something right now: I made in two weeks what it would have taken 6 WEEKS to earn at Barnes & Noble. I'm now making more money than I ever have in my life. The bank account looks much healthier and I feel less stress about money. Since I'm doing nothing but talking on the phone to appraisers and typing in their orders, my typing is even getting better. Sort of. That, and I don't have to call 16 year-old kids "sir."

The thing of it is, I'm finding that I have little enthusiasm for a lot of things that I used to enjoy; although I like roleplaying games, I haven't played D&D in months. I ran a sci-fi book group at the bookstore that isn't long for the world. I can't remember the last time I bought a comic book and it's been even longer since I've sat down and drawn anything. That last part hurts a bit, as being a cartoonist/artist is a big part of who and what I am.

I find that I'm caught between earning a living and pursuing my dream. Do you ever get to the point where you wonder if the dreams you had when you were a teenager are still worth it? If they haven't morphed into pipe dreams instead? I know that I'm a good cartoonist, but every idea I have seems to be kind of lackluster. You'll notice that you haven't seen any cartoons here in the recent past. There's a couple of good reasons for this: 1) No scanner to scan comics in with, and 2) I haven't cared enough to create anything. I had come up with the germ of an idea called Nametags that I though I would like doing ,but each time I sat down to draw one of the strips, I felt like I was being dragged to the art table by my ear. It shouldn't be like this. I'm finding that I'm actually enjoying writing this blog. I've even received compliments on it. One person emailed me and said that my entry about my Aunt Jeanie's death was very eloquent.

In short; I'll work the office job in cubicle world and learn how to be a good dad, but the rest of me needs to redefine itself.

Wish me luck.

Take care,
~Rob