My wife and I took took the twins to see Santa Claus for the first time.
Actually, after giving it all that build-up and after I had steeled myself for a miserable hour and half waiting in line to ultimately see my daughters cry at the tops of their lungs, it really went very well. The guy who was doing Santa had his own beard (meaning that it was his own hair, not a fake beard), and as Olivia put it, he was a "Grandpa Santa." That means that he was an older gentleman and had probably done the same thing for his own grandkids. He was just great with the girls. Emma and Nicki did cry, but that was very short-lived and we got a great picture out of it.
That's Nicole on the right and Emma on the left.
It's also the second picture we have of them where Nicki looks like she's just heard a joke and Emma seems to be asking her a question (possibly to explain said joke to her).
Now, the mall we went to had their Santa's Village set up like the animated special that we all (all of us under 40) grew up with: Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, as animated by Rankin & Bass. I mean, it looked like an official endorsement. Hermie the elf and the Bumble were there, as well as two life-sized replicas of Rudolph and his girlfriend Clarice ("She thinks I'm cute!").
Now, I tell you all of this so I can relate this moment while waiting in line. The guy behind me is with his daughter, who was probably about 7 or 8 years old and looked like she had just come out of Libby Lu's, which is a store that lets little girls play dress-up and wear tiaras and things like that - someplace I'm probably going to see a lot of in the future.
Anyway, the father is talking on his cellphone to a buddy of his and his voice had that distinctive twang that you only hear in Texas / the Deep South. He was complaining about how he couldn't find any "hunting stuff or none a' that shit" in any of the stores he'd been to. Mind you, he's using that language in a line full of impressionable young minds going to see Santa. A little later, as the line files past the two life-sized replicas of Rudolph and his girlfriend Clarice, his daughter says something to effect of, "Daddy, who're they?," to which Mr. Shitkicker replied, "Oh, them's is some critters at the North Pole or somethin'."
Now, there are signs EVERYWHERE that say Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Welcome to Rudolph's North Pole and there was even a road sign that said "Reindeer Crossing." Hell, Rudolph's nose was glowing!
I looked down at the little girl and said "That's Rudolph and his girlfriend Clarice."
She then said, "Daddy, is that Rudolph?"
"Huh?"
"The man said that's Rudolph."
He then looked at me as if realizing that there were someone in line in front of him for the first time and said, "That's what?"
I said, "That's Rudolph and Clarice. It's from a cartoon."
He looked at me in what I took to be puzzlement.
"You know, 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'?" I was smiling and was doing my best to put forth vibes to him that said, "Dude, I know you're clueless, just go with it, you'll be her hero if you just show some interest."
He just looked at me, nodded and said, "yeah, that's Rudolph and his girlfriend or something."
"Clarice," I supplied helpfully.
"Yeah, Clarice. Ya learn something new everyday, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess you do, sir. Merry Christmas," I said smiling and looking as non-threatening as I can because it had just occurred to me that this guy didn't sound too bright and apparently had access to firearms and he might be thinking that I was trying to make him look bad in front of his daughter.
I then made a comment about Libby Lu's and how I'm going to have to do all of that stuff twice, and then he saw the twins, smiled, and said "God bless ya, man. Better you than me, ya know what I mean?"
I nodded, familiar with this sentiment from people who first see the girls, and faced forward in the line. Potential butt-kicking avoided by grace of my daughters. *grin*
Merry Christmas,
~Rob
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